Summer 2010. what what.

How, oh how did I get here? It is the summer after my Sophomore year of college. ah! This cannot be real. I have left the teenage years behind and entered the 20s. Crazy. Sometimes it still feels weird that I am old enough to drive, or that I'm in college. Adulthood, how did you sneak up on me like this?

I want this summer to be different. For so many years I have felt like I was preparing for something. I've piled up excuse on top of excuse for not taking action or stepping out. Because I wasn't ready yet, I told myself, or because I was just a kid. I always told myself that I would get there one day, but at this point in my life I'm not old enough, I'm not wise enough, I'm not confident enough, I'm not smart enough, to influence people, to make a difference, to tell people about my Jesus, to take action, to have true impact. How lame is that? How much of a pansy am I? And more importantly, how self-centered am I; why do I think it's all about me? It's not.

1 Peter 2:16
Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.

1 Timothy 4:12
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

As I typed out that first bit these two verses came to mind. And these are the conclusions I have come to. I will speak confidently, although I realize that my perspective is limited and inevitably will have flaws.

I am free. Free to choose who I will serve, what I will stand for, What I will do with my life, free to be who I want to be, who I think the best version of me is. But with that freedom comes immense responsibility. My choices affect others, and if I make the wrong ones, I am not the only one harmed. Evil is easy. Apathy is easy. Not acting is easy. Choosing to live as a servant of God, when we have been given this abundant freedom is difficult, but it's worth it; it's well worth it. Freedom is choosing to do right, when it's easy to do wrong.

What if youthfulness wasn't an excuse, what if it was a catalyst? Along with this gift of freedom, we have been given our youth, this short sweet time of energy and little responsibility to do with as we will. I'm beginning to see how fleeting it is. How I won't be young forever. How beautiful would it be if we chose to use this time to set an example in as many aspects of our lives as we could?

My prayer for this summer is that I would strive to make the most of every opportunity. That I would ditch the self doubt and anxiety that keeps me from living my life the best that I can, and that I would run hard after the one more faithful than the sunrise, knowing full well that if I do that, he will guide my every step. I pray for faith, for belief, and for the opportunity to demonstrate both. I pray for an open, willing heart, and a joyful spirt.