How I would love, love, love for my job to be filling up pages with ink each and every day. A lot of times I get nervous that I'm not going to have things to say, but that has never happened. I may not always have words to speak, but for as long as paper and pens exist, I will have things to write.
My fear shouldn't be that I will have a lack of things to write about, but instead that I may not particularly like the things I have to say. A lot of times when I get going, I find that the things I have to say scare me or make me uncomfortable. So often the things that come out challenge me and stretch me in a way that I don't always like. It's like the more stuff I get down, the more I realize that there are so many things inside of me waiting to get out, but I'm also reminded more and more of my brokenness, my inability to fix that brokenness and my needs - my need of salvation, my need of grace, my need of help, my need of the cross.
My church had a really awesome Ash Wednesday service on Ash Wednesday (duh). We sang songs, and read scripture. I love things like that. I love when there is built in time for reflection and introspection. I love that solemn, almost heavy feeling; not all the time, but every now and then.
Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent. In between the songs and the readings there was a little mini sermon. There was a lot of goodness and truth tucked into that little guy. So much. I walked out of that place feeling like I had a renewed understanding of the meaning of Lent.
I could plagiarize the whole sermon and I might do a half decent job of getting the points that were made across. Probably not, but maybe. I'm not going to do that. I'm sure the whole thing is somewhere on CTK's website if someone is really interested. Instead, I will recap the most simple part, the part that challenged me the most. We got a little bit of the history of Lent in the church, what it means, represents, and then came the simple little challenge.
"Pray this during Lent," Geoff said. "Lord, show me my sin and show me my savior."
Show me my sin and show me my savior. Simple and pure. It hit me hard though. God, show me my sin and show me my savior. Lord, show me my sin and show me my savior. Show me that I utterly and desperately need salvation. Show me my wretchedness. Show me my depravity. Show me my fundamental need for you. Show me my ugliness. And on top of all of those things, show me your grace. Show me your son. Show me the cross. May my heart's condition and my inability to change my heart's condition always point me back to the cross, to hope, to eternity. Jesus, in this season, in this time to reflect on your life and what your existence means in our lives today, show me my sin, and Jesus show me my savior.
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